So long, Smoltzy

Oh, this week just gets better and better. And it seems us Mets fans have the AL East to thank once again.

According to Mark Bowman of MLB.com, the longtime Atlanta Brave will head north to Boston.

A Major League source who was in contact with Smoltz on Wednesday night said the 41-year-old right-hander will be calling the Braves on Thursday morning to tell them that he has decided to sign with the Red Sox.

Hallelujah. First Pat Burrell, then John Smoltz. This is great.

What's next? Chipper Jones moves to England? Cole Hamels retires from baseball to pursue a career in acting? The Mets stop playing the Florida Marlins in September?

They ate at Citi

Well, I was wrong.

Here I proposed coffee and biscotti, maybe a nice sandwich or even a pricey sit down feast. Steve Popper reports things went a little different.

The Mets - GM Omar Minaya, C.O.O. Jeff Wilpon and assistant GM John Ricco - met with Boras and his assistant, Mike Fiore at Citi Field. They brought the power agent and his assistant on a tour of the new stadium and hosted a lunch for them at the stadium.

According to Popper, the chit-chat focused on Derek Lowe. The Mets are standing pat with their offer, as expected (for now).

If the Yankees are buying a championship, at least it’s a good looking one

Give me a minute or two to be completely and utterly ridiculous (and talk about the Yankees)...

The New York Yankees have just plunked down nearly half a billion dollars for the service of three men. A.J., CC and MT will be around for the next five, three or seven and eight years respectively. But I’m not here to talk about them.

Have you seen their wives?! Gosh golly gee-willikers and every other darn tootin’ phrase from the 1950’s!!

Karen (Burnett), Amber (Sabathia) and Leigh (Teixeira) are all a sight for sore eyes. Their presence at the new Yankee Stadium will leave even Hank speechless, if only for a few minutes.

Mrs. Burnett looks like she could still be attending school in search of her undergraduate degree, and I mean that in the best way possible. She’s smoking hot, but seems to come off with that air of “I’m better than you.” I bet she was a cheerleader at some point in her life.

Mrs. Sabathia reminds me of Jada Pinkett Smith. Very beautiful but kind of scary at the same time. Hey, you’ve got to have some ‘tude if you’re going to tango with 295 lbs. of man.

And finally to Mrs. Teixeira, where I see a hint of Anne Hathaway in her. I guess that fits right in with New York City, being as Ms. Hathaway was born in Brooklyn, NY. (Destiny?) She’s very pretty, but in that “girl next door” kind of way that almost any guy will pant like a dog for.

And ladies, I did not forget about you. A.J., CC and Mark are nothing to scoff at.

Burnett reminds me of that high school jock that all the ladies wanted and all the guys wanted to be. The uber-male. I guess that makes sense, since he’s the one married to the “cheerleader.”

Sabathia may be a big guy, but he’s just a big ol’ teddy bear. Who wouldn’t want to cuddle up next to this guy to stay warm on a cold winter night?

Teixeira strikes me as the guy who always volunteered for things. Soup kitchen, nursing homes – whatever it was, he was ready to go. None of the ladies noticed him in high school, but as he got older, he became a man and a hot commodity.

So not only have the Yankees brought in some new guys to try to lead the team to victory, the new faces – both the players and their significant others -- are all pretty nice to look at!

(Photo credit: AJ and Karen, Mrs. Sabathia and Mark and Leigh - Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images.)

Mets and Boras to do lunch

Scott Boras is in town for this. The Mets convinced him to stick around another day with the offer to buy him lunch. Apparently it worked, and the two sides will sit and chat about Derek Lowe and Oliver Perez -- both Boras clients.

As stated before, the Mets have already pitched digits to Tim Redding and will soon be dealing with Randy Wolf. Both of those players are for the back of the rotation, while Boras' clients could fit anywhere from the No. 2 spot back to No. 4.

I wonder where they will go to lunch...Coffee and a snack at Starbucks is too cheap. Maybe a stop at Pret A Manger? What about Tavern on the Green? It will probably one of these places, knowing Boras' taste for the extravagant (at least when dealing with contracts).

Five bucks says the Mets sign Alex Cora out of all this, another Boras client.

Offer already out to Tim Redding, Randy Wolf soon

The Mets will meet with Scott Boras to discuss top-tier starters Derek Lowe and Oliver Perez tomorrow. In the meantime, the team will try and sure up the back end of the rotation.

According to sources with the team, the Mets have already offered a contract to Tim Redding and will soon make one to Randy Wolf.

It's about time. The Metties need pitching and they seemed to be going down the list one at a time. Thankfully, they've trashed that idea and will try and sign the available pitchers as soon as possible.

No need waiting around for one to slip by. It seems the Mets are listing their free agent pursuits in this order:
1. Derek Lowe
2. Oliver Perez
3. Randy Wolf
4. Tim Redding
5. Pedro Martinez
6. Jon Garland (if at all)

I think the Mets should sign both Wolf and Redding and one of Lowe or Perez. If they can somehow swing Lowe and Perez and Wolf or Redding, that would be amazing -- but I just can't see it happening.

Pick three from that list, and who would you want?

Dates to look forward to

Baseball is getting closer and closer, and here are some key dates for Mets fans to look forward to...

• Feb. 13 -- Pitchers and catchers report.
• Feb. 17 -- Position players report.
• Feb. 19 -- First full workout.
• Feb. 25 -- First exhibition game @ Baltimore.
• March 5 -- Exhibition against Team Italy.
• March 8 -- Exhibition against U. of Michigan.
• April 3-4 -- Exhibition vs. Boston Red Sox @ Citi Field.
• April 6 -- First game of the season @ Cincinnati.
• April 13 -- Citi Field Home Opener against San Diego.

Some dates via Bart Hubbuch.

Mets will not go higher on Lowe

The Mets have pitched a three-year, $36 million offer to Derek Lowe. He seems to have brushed it aside in hopes of finding a bigger and better deal. No other team has come forward with an offer, and the Mets are adamant they will not raise their offer to the free agent pitcher.

Via Ken Davidoff:

Lowe ranks as the Mets' first choice to replace Oliver Perez in their starting rotation, but they also are negotiating with Perez himself and lefthander Randy Wolf. Agent Scott Boras represents both Lowe and Perez.

The Mets should wait this out and see if he folds and takes the deal. I can see them offering a few million more, but not much. I can't see them giving him four guaranteed years, though.

Lowe wants $16 million per year, and with this deal he's only getting $12 million. With Scott Boras as his agent, you would think he would get what he wants (and more), but with the economy the way it is and many teams already locking up their needs, Lowe may have to "settle" for the Mets offer.

So long, Pat the Bat

Oh, praise this day Mets fans and thank the Tampa Bay Rays.

According to reports, Pat Burrell will leave the NL East and Philadelphia, and head for warmer pastures in Tampa Bay. Burrell was a free agent, and the Phillies didn't seem inclined to bring him back, but this just confirms that the Met-killer is going elsewhere.

Burrell and the Rays agreed on a two-year, $16 million deal.

Unfortunately, this does not mean the Mets are completely rid of Pat the Bat. June 19-21, the reigning AL champs make a visit to Citi Field.

Three games is much better than everytime the Mets play the Phillies. Thank you, Rays.

Sorting through Jon Heyman's top 20 remaining free agents

Jon Heyman published an article a few days ago, and I'm only now getting around to it. This break from school is really letting the laziness take over. Anyway, here we go...

Heyman ranks the top 20 remaining FA's, according to him. Somehow, his No. 1 choice is Bobby Abreu and No. 3 is Pat Burrell.

Adam Dunn ranks in at No. 6, just ahead of Jon Garland and, inexplicably, four spots ahead of Derek Lowe. Oliver Perez ranks in at No. 11 and Manny Ramirez doesn't make an appearance until 13th.

Behind Manny? Ben Sheets at No. 14, followed by Jason Varitek, Randy Wolf and Garret Anderson. No. 18 is Freddy Garcia, who last I checked is still recovering from surgery, pitched in three games last season and may have just hurt himself in winter ball.

Cliff Floyd and Tim Redding round out the list.

Is it me, or did Heyman just throw darts at a list while drunk, blindfolded and hanging upside down?

I'm going to take the same 20 players and rank them, my way, and we all can compare.

Heyman's list	Vazzano's list
1. Bobby Abreu	1. Manny Ramirez
2. Milton Bradley	2. Derek Lowe
3. Pat Burrell	3. Oliver Perez
4. Orlando Cabrera	4. Adam Dunn
5. Joe Crede	5. Orlando Cabrera
6. Adam Dunn	6. Bobby Abreu
7. Jon Garland	7. Ben Sheets
8. Jason Giambi*	8. Jason Giambi*
9. Orlando Hudson*	9. Orlando Hudson*
10. Derek Lowe	10. Joe Crede
11.Oliver Perez	11. Milton Bradley
12. Andy Pettitte*	12. Andy Pettitte*
13. Manny Ramirez	13. Jon Garland
14. Ben Sheets	14. Garrett Anderson
15. Jason Varitek	15. Pat Burrell
16. Randy Wolf	16. Randy Wolf
17. Garrett Anderson	17. Jason Varitek
18. Freddy Garcia	18. Tim Redding
19. Cliff Floyd	19. Cliff Floyd
20. Tim Redding	20. Freddy Garcia

* denotes matches.

Of this list, the Mets have been rumored to be interested in: Ramirez, Lowe, Perez, Hudson, Wolf, Varitek and Redding.
Of that list, I think the only serious pursuits will be: Lowe, Perez, Hudson, Wolf and Redding.
And of that list, I can see only: Lowe, Perez, Wolf and Redding wearing blue and orange next year.

Wherever you rank the top 20 remaining free agents, just know that within the next 40 or so days, a lot of rumors are going to be swirling. Why 40 days (give or take)? Spring training kicks off right about then. Finally, we'll all get back to baseball.

Update: Fletcher points out that Heyman's list may not be a list at all. From 1-17, the list is in alphabetical order. If he's not ranking them, why use numbers? Couldn't he just as easily used bullet points? What's with the ABC order then? This gives me more questions than answers. My list still stands.

This is just stupid

I can't tell if the people behind this are Mets fans making fun of the lack of memories at Shea Stadium, if they're fans of another team grinding salt in the wound or if they're just bad at what they do.

Watch this video (a bit of language at the end, so I'd classify this as NSFW) and see if you can figure out what is going on.

Either way, it made me angry -- that's all I know.