Fan caught trying to steal part of Shea

Patrick Oriani, 18, of Jersey City, was caught trying to smuggle a seat from the upper deck of Shea Stadium out of the park, concealing it under a blanket.

First of all, does he really expect to make it out of the place carrying a giant seat?

And secondly, I really want to know what was said to him by the guards who figured out his dastardly plan.

Security guard: "Sir, is that a chair? Are you carrying a chair under that blanket?"

Patrick: "Uhhhh...no."

Security guard: "Come with me, sir."

Patrick: "Dagnabbit! I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids security guards!"