Because it's pitchers and catchers day, I present to you, Crazy Johan. This is from last season's spring training, but it's just too good to pass up.

It's officially spring training. I'm a happy man.
This is a very private, personal matter and I greatly appreciate all the support I have received in the past few days from my family, friends and colleagues in baseball. I am in very good health and I ask that you respect my privacy during this time.As for the lawsuit, it is filled with lies and I am deeply saddened that someone I cared for would make such terrible accusations and try to hurt me in this way.
Baseball great Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS but insisted on having unprotected sex, his ex-girlfriend charged Tuesday in a bombshell lawsuit.When I woke up this morning, I think this ranked dead last on the list of things I would read about.
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Nine days later, the couple went to see a disease specialist who discovered a mass in the retired second baseman's chest, the court papers say.Alomar's skin had turned purple, he was foaming at the mouth and a spinal tap "showed he had full-blown AIDS," the suit says.